“That wooden toilet is a disaster. Every time I sit down, I get splinters in places I don’t even want to talk about!”
The second guy chimes in,
“You think that’s bad? I sat on my ice toilet and froze my rear end solid! Took me an hour with a hairdryer just to peel myself off the seat!”
Then the third guy steps forward and sighs,
“You wanna talk inconvenient? Every time I try to use my toilet, I sit down and it immediately starts playing ‘O Canada.’
And you can’t stay seated for the national anthem… So I have to stand back up. I haven’t gone to the bathroom in two days!”
Joke 2: Tiger Woods in Ireland
While on a golf tour in the lush Irish countryside, Tiger Woods pulls into a quiet little petrol station. He’s driving his sleek BMW and gets out to fill up.
The station attendant, a friendly older Irishman, walks over and says with a smile,
“Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, sir!”
Tiger nods politely and reaches for the gas pump.
As he pulls it out, two golf tees fall from his pocket onto the ground.
The Irishman picks them up and holds them up, puzzled.
“Excuse me, but… what are these little sticks?”
Tiger smiles. “Oh, those are golf tees. I rest my balls on them when I’m driving.”
The Irishman’s eyes widen, and he takes a slow step back.
Then he mutters, “Sweet Mary and Joseph… BMW thinks of everything, don’t they?”
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